I can sleep with her, marry her, take care of her, but love thats something else,” said Tony, a married man in his late forties. “Guys dont like to talk about love. They dont know what to say. Of course guys do love. But they express it differently.” Despite this fact, most women do not feel happy unless they hear those golden words, I love you. Men need to hear them as well. And yet, as much as men want love, many fight it to the last minute. Love can make men feel vulnerable, childlike, and unable to do whats expected of us, especially those who believe theyre functioning in a dog eat dog world.
Different types of men express their love differently. In fact, love means different things to a man, at different times in his life. A woman needs to be alert to who the man she is with is, and what love means to him. Although most women wait to hear the golden words, “I Love You,” there are many different ways that men use to express what they are feeling.
The first way is simply by saying “I Love You.”
Actually, saying these words is a huge step for some men. It means a lot more than simply expressing a feeling. For some it feels like a life commitment, for others it is fraught with danger.
“When I say I love you,” said Steve, “I feel like Im taking my life in my hands and giving it to her. Its scary. Ive got to really trust her and know she wont throw my love away in order to actually say the words to her.” In this case the fear of rejection comes up strongly. Rejection is enormously painful for most men, and saying “I Love You”, can be an invitation to be hurt. Most men must feel very secure in the relationship and in the womans feelings for him, before hell dare say those words. For others, saying “I love you,” means, Im offering a commitment. Im going to be here to do things for you.
For many men, love is expressed through action, so these words are a promise of what is to follow. Simply by saying these words they feel they are agreeing to be there to give to support her. If they dont do it, theyll feel like a heel.
For others, the words means, Im not leaving, or Ill always be faithful. This can be very scary for some men. They feel the words themselves are a promise, and if the promise is broken, they will suffer as well.
However, there is another type of man, The Lovers, Dreamers and Peter Pans, who enjoy falling in love and letting the world know it. These men will say “I Love You” easily.
There are many different motives behind their words though.
Some say it to get a woman to make love with him, others to enter into a romantic fantasy, some to feel as though they are the great lover of all time. By saying these words, others seem to be offering the woman the world ( that they have no intention of giving.)
Others say it just for the sheer pleasure of seeing how good it makes the woman feel, and how powerful this makes him feel.